I Will Never Leave You Alone
by sofiaibat
Summary: I remember what Sherlock did for me. I remember when Moriarty started a World War. I remember when the British Army asked me to come back. I remember when Sherlock went in my place.


**John's POV**

_I remember what Sherlock did for me. I remember when Moriarty started a World War. I remember when the British Army asked me to come back. I remember when Sherlock went in my place._

"SHERLOCK, I WILL NOT ALLOW YOU TO DO THIS!"

"John, I will go no matter what you say."

"Sherlock, please."

"What happened to you in battle left you traumatized. I know it still does. Don't think I never notice when you wake up covered in sweat. We sleep in the same bed for god's sakes! You're not going back."

"Sherlock. _Please_."

"I leave tomorrow."

And he had walked away without another word. I watched him, trying to ignore the lump that was forming slowly in my throat. I whispered his name. I didn't want him to face the battles of a soldier. He wasn't ready. He was meant to deduce. Not to fight. He was a detective. He was _my_ detective.

But he left. I remember waiting at the window, watching him go through security. I remember seeing him put on a hat. Not the deerstalker, but a camo cap. To match the baggy outfit h was wearing. He was saluted a couple times, and as he turned back to wave at me, he had his casual smirk, but I saw something in his eyes that he only had when he first kissed me. Fear. Sherlock Holmes was terrified. I waved back, and as he stepped out of view, I rested my head against the window, with Mrs. Hudson sobbing on my shoulder. _Sherlock._

He wrote once a week for almost half a month. The addresses always ranged from Berlin, to Moscow, to Paris. Then they became less frequent. They began arriving once every three weeks, then once a month, and then they stopped. I started to worry. The news stories became worse, and whenever they identified the found corpses, my eyes scanned the pictures for a man with pale skin and silky raven hair. I never saw him there, and I would always breathe a sigh of relief, but the tension always stayed.

One day, I was staring down another box of Chinese takeaway when Mycroft called. I answered right away, already fearing the call. I heard gasping from the other line and I managed to choke out: "Mycroft?" I thought I heard sobbing, and then a deep breath of air.

"John. Sherlock. He-"

But Mycroft didn't need to finish his sentence, because flashing across the screen was the latest casualties from a battle in the Canadian Arctic. I saw him. My detective. He looked just like when he left. Thin and pale, with a mop of unruly black hair covering his scalp. Under the picture, his name flashed. The stupid news people had misspelled it. They said 'Sherlock Holmes'. It was supposed to be 'Sherlock Watson Holmes'.

I screamed. I collapsed. I could hear Mycroft on the phone, crying. I could hear Mrs. Hudson's sobs downstairs. The phones began to ring. Molly, Mike, Greg. _Sherlock was dead._ I screamed again into the floor. This war took my Sherlock. This war.

I walked through the hallways at St. Barts. The war was over. After millions of casualties, Moriarty had been shot and killed. They had brought my Sherlock back. Molly was in tears as she looked at the body on the metal slab. His hands were blue, and so was the rest of his body. There were two bullet holes. One in his stomach and one on his shoulder. He must have been wounded and tried to crawl away, only to freeze to death. I had burst into tears and collapsed on his cold body, one hand on his arm, the other stroking his raven curls. I cried, somehow hoping that my tears would melt Sherlock, and that he'd wake up and stroke my hair too, that he'd kiss away all the tears. That he'd promise never to leave me.

Now I am standing alone in our flat. I look around at the place I let go. I look to my left hand and see the gold band wrapped around my finger, and remember our vows. _Sherlock, I will never leave you alone._ I look in my left hand and see the black pistol resting in my hands. _Time to fulfill my vows._ I press the nozzle to my chin, and close my eyes.

_Sherlock, I will never leave you alone._

My last vow.


End file.
